See what they all have to say below:
Showing posts with label JOKE. Show all posts
Showing posts with label JOKE. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 8, 2017
Would You Marry A Man Like Your Dad? – See How Ladies Replied
A quick one on Instagram shows that 70% of ladies don’t wish to marry a man like their father.
See what they all have to say below:
See what they all have to say below:
Sunday, August 6, 2017
jokes
One day, a woman asked her son to call her husband to ask him what he wanted her to cook for dinner.After the sixth time the boy complained to his mother that a female voice was what he heard everytime he called and the lady would not let him speak to his dad. By the time the man got home that evening, his wife was fuming seriously.
She was so angry that she met him at his car and grabbed his shirt right there in the front yard.
"How dare you cheat on me?" she shouted, attracting the neighbors instantly. "How could you? After all we have been through?"
The confused man stared at her - he could not fathom why she was so mad at him. The neighbors tried to calm her down but she refused, and when someone asked for evidence, she recounted the phone call episode and called on Junior to repeat everything the lady on the phone said.
"The number you are calling is not reachable at the moment. Please try again later," Junior said
She was so angry that she met him at his car and grabbed his shirt right there in the front yard.
"How dare you cheat on me?" she shouted, attracting the neighbors instantly. "How could you? After all we have been through?"
The confused man stared at her - he could not fathom why she was so mad at him. The neighbors tried to calm her down but she refused, and when someone asked for evidence, she recounted the phone call episode and called on Junior to repeat everything the lady on the phone said.
"The number you are calling is not reachable at the moment. Please try again later," Junior said
JOKES AND LAUGH
A lawyer and a Jamaican are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
The lawyer is thinking that Jamaicans are so dumb that he can fool them easy...
So the lawyer asks if the Jamaican would like to play a fun game.
The Jamaican is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and says that the game is a lot of fun.
'I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5; You ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500..'
The lawyer is thinking that Jamaicans are so dumb that he can fool them easy...
So the lawyer asks if the Jamaican would like to play a fun game.
The Jamaican is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and says that the game is a lot of fun.
'I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5; You ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500..'
This catches the Jamaican's attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question.
'What's the distance from The Earth to the moon?'
The Jamaican doesn't say a word, reaches in his pocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it's the Jamaican's turn.
He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?'
The lawyer uses his laptop, searches all the references he knows.
He uses the air-phone; he searches the Net and even the Library of Congress.
He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail.
After one hour of searching, he finally gives up.
He wakes up the Jamaican and hands him $500.
The Jamaican pockets the $500 goes right back to sleep.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer.
He wakes the Jamaican up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?'
The lawyer asks the first question.
'What's the distance from The Earth to the moon?'
The Jamaican doesn't say a word, reaches in his pocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it's the Jamaican's turn.
He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?'
The lawyer uses his laptop, searches all the references he knows.
He uses the air-phone; he searches the Net and even the Library of Congress.
He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail.
After one hour of searching, he finally gives up.
He wakes up the Jamaican and hands him $500.
The Jamaican pockets the $500 goes right back to sleep.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer.
He wakes the Jamaican up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?'
The Jamaican reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.
JOKES
On Lagos-Ibadan express road, when a Pastor met a team of policemen who, quite naturally, wanted 'something' from him. Since he was not prepared to play their games, they asked for his papers and having combed through everything without any offence with which to nail the 'stubborn' pastor, they now asked him to open the bonnet of his car.
A careful scrutiny of the engine number against what was on paper revealed that letter 'U' was written in such a way that it could be mistaken for letter 'V'. That was all the officer-in-charge needed to shout "stolen vehicle!"
Sensing trouble, even when he knew he committed no offence, the pastor called the OC to say he was a priest to which the officer replied :"Please, leave that
pastor thing...in any case, if you are indeed a pastor, then you must have a Bible in your car, bring it."
pastor thing...in any case, if you are indeed a pastor, then you must have a Bible in your car, bring it."
The Pastor did as was commanded after which the officer now ordered: "Please read Matthew 5:25-26 to me". The incredulous Pastor opened to the recommended passage and read:
"Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to a judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. I tell you the truth; you will not get out until you have paid the last penny."
"Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to a judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. I tell you the truth; you will not get out until you have paid the last penny."
The man of God quietly made an "offering" of "just" N100 to his newly found "preacher".
"End of service go in peace and argue no more", said the OC.
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